Earlier this month, retired private investigator Mary-Kate Olsen was declared the worst Olsen twin of all time by her younger sister Elizabeth. On Friday, Us Weekly reported she is engaged to her boyfriend of "nearly two years," banker Olivier Sarkozy (half-brother of former French president Nicolas).
Brunching with your best friends is supposed to be the best part of your sad and hopeless existence, but sometimes, doing Sunday brunch is hard work. You will surely have to wait in a very long line. After finally getting seated, you will be given terrible service because the restaurant is just way too busy. These two things make the meal very long and you might run out of things to talk about very quickly. Use this cheat sheet and your friends might start calling you queen bloody mary.
Page Six reported Wednesday that America's weird young spinster aunt Mary-Kate Olsen, 25, is now dating Oliver (né Olivier) Sarkozy, 42, the half-brother of former French President Nicolas Sarkozy. According to the Post, the two were spotted in the Hamptons over Memorial Day weekend (presumably together, or this ain't much of a story), and have been dating for about a month.
"We seem to have gotten a donation of Tyra Banks' 'fantasy novel' Modelland," New York City's famous Housing Works Bookstore writes on its Tumblr, "with one copy for Ashley Olsen and one for Mary-Kate Olsen." It's very nice of them to call it a "donation," but the fact that the books still have their Post-It dedications inside makes us wonder if they were ever even cracked open. "So excited to share my fantasy novel, Modelland, with you. I hope you enjoy it!" both notes begin. "SMIZE!" she writes to Ashley; "Stay fierce and fabulous," she advises Mary-Kate. Housing Works is selling both for $100.
A $39,000 backpack from the Olsen twins' luxury fashion line The Row was "the first thing that sold off the shelf," according to Ashley. "During our last economic crisis in the U.S., the only thing that went up was Hermès." That's why she designed this mind-bogglingly expensive backpack, made exclusively from the skin of the mysterious fourth Olsen sister, who lives in a cage in their basement. You thought Elizabeth Olsen was the secret one? Hah.
In this scene from their 1992 classic, To Grandmother's House We Go, watch the young Olsen twins dance awkwardly to the music of a street performer before chucking fried chicken into his saxophone case.
Our long national nightmare is over: Dancing With The Stars returns tonight. Oh, and also the Olsen twins have finally sold their 5,700-square-foot five-bedroom penthouse in the Far West Village's 1 Morton Square condo castle, the same penthouse that Mary-Kate and Ashley—who today's kids think are famous for being fashion designers—never occupied and have been trying to sell since 2005.