Like everyone in America, Dina Lohan has a theory about why Lindsay Lohan, the human female whose transformation from adorable frecklebean to bloated shriekmonster she oversaw, is "so screwed up." Dina's guess: It's because Lindsay saw her father beat up her mother. (Lindsay's father's guess: It's because Dina "is the devil.")
After nearly two faithful years as Lindsay Lohan's No. 1 speed-dial homie, Steve Honig has decided to quit his job as publicist for the star, which also happens to be the second-worst job in America after being Lindsay Lohan's dad. Honig, obviously, has no problem with Lindsay's poor Porsche-handling skills, her romance with that guy "Klaus," or all that coke drama with Lindsay and her best friend, Dina Lohan. No, according to Honig just can't stand her dad. TMZ reports:
In case you guys were worried about not having any Lindsay Lohan news today, here you go: this afternoon, her attention whore of a father, Michael Lohan, and several others attempted to stage an intervention outside the Mitt Romney supporter's Beverly Hills home. In an "Exclusive" interview on TMZ, Michael said he was worried about Lindsay because she's been hanging out with all the wrong people, including "some guy named Klaus." While it's impossible to know whether this is an attention grabbing stunt on Michael's part or a legitimate attempt to help his daughter, it goes without saying that anyone named Klaus is terrible fucking news.
Creepy psycho circus clown Michael Lohan has been arrested for the second time in three days—this time for allegedly trying to contact his girlfriend Kate Major, which he wasn't supposed to do because he just allegedly threatened to throw her off a fourth-floor balcony and The Law told him to leave the lady alone.
- Michael Lohan is "hurt' by the fact that Lindsay Lohan wants to drop her last name, Madonna-style: "I'm proud of the Lohan name. It's a name of integrity," he told the Daily News. "We all had very successful jobs on Wall Street. My father was an unbelievable provider. My sisters are pillars of the community. There's not a blemish in my family outside of me." So maybe Lindsay should change her name to Lindsay "Not-Michael-Lohan". NYDN]