On last night's Miss America Pageant (and its preceding Countdown show), we were treated to ventriloquism, rhythmless red-cup percussion, a slew of factoids about the contestants as they did performed their talents ("Slapped a shark as a kid," "Attacked by a Cheetah in Zambia"), an embarrassing song by Miss Tennessee's parents from the audience, a Toddlers & Tiaras-inspired Pixy Stix binge, and Game of Thrones fandom. I've never seen a wackier mainstream U.S. pageant, nor a better one and no one fell or fucked up an interview question or anything. A great job all around.
Miss Iowa Mariah Cary (yup) might have been taking some of her own confusing advice when she responded to a question about Marijuana legalization by saying the drug should only be used recreationally and medicinally.
Brooklyn, a young, up-and-coming borough of New York City, truly has it all now: Last night, Mallory Hytes Hagan, a 23-year-old who lives in Park Slope, was crowned Miss America. Hagan, formerly Miss New York, beat out 52 other contestants (including one named Mariah Cary, aka Miss Iowa, who placed fifth) to win a $50,000 scholarship, which would afford her approximately 5/6ths of one year at NYU. Congratulations Mallory!
Tonight Teresa Scanlan of Nebraska was crowned Miss America of 2010. When asked by Sergeant First Class Chad Momerak about how we should deal with the people's right to know with the need for government security, this was her response.
The theme of this year's Miss America pageant? Cringe-worthy secondhand embarrassment. First, the contestants gave some of the worst introductions ever. EVER. Then, judge Rush Limbaugh was booed. Limbaugh also danced erratically to Lady Gaga's Poker Face. Really. Videos inside.