Now that the long weekend is over, box office receipts are in and, unsurprisingly, Avatar conquers yet again. But Denzel Washington can still open movies, while Peter Jackson's latest is something of a bust.
Monday morning means box office. And a hot Monday morning means summer box office. Which means big, depressing numbers for big, depressing movies. Like G-Force, a Jerry Bruckheimer-produced sorta-animated movie about guinea pigs. Yes, guinea pigs.
Sure, sure, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince raked in a gazillion dollars this weekend. But who are these people who went to Ice Age? Our guess: creationist parents who wanted their kids to watch a nature documentary.
We have a tie! For now. The actuals will come out soon and one film will beat the other. But now! Ambivalence or equality or peace or something. How perfect, as we stand in the smoky ashes of Freedom's birthday.
Sandy Bullock is back in the game, folks! At a lean, mean 45 the actress has pulled off a huge opening. Some credit should go, we suppose, to costars Ryan Reynolds and Betty White. But mostly, yeah, this is Sandy's.
Everyone really likes cars. But especially when they're blowing up and/or full of guns and hot people. Also, people like both monsters and aliens, but not curly-haired soul-searchers who work at amusement parks.
Mondays are best spent piecing together the ruin that followed in the weekend's wake. Recovering the satellites, analyzing the soil samples. And looking at the box office receipts! This week: Disappointment haunted all their dreams.