Who knew a little monkey would be the one to teach us all how to love?
David Slater, the British nature photographer whose camera equipment was stolen by a selfie-mad macaque in 2011, has made repeated attempts to remove the famous photos that resulted from Wikimedia Commons, a database of royalty-free media from the organization behind Wikipedia. Wikimedia refused, claiming that Slater does not own the images' copyright.
The rogue, herpes-infected monkey who escaped from that exotic animal jail in Zanesville, Ohio—and subsequently ran from the sheriffs who shot up all its friends—was supposedly been eaten by one of the escaped big cats. "It looks like everything is taken care of," a conservationist told CNN. "There was one monkey left, and right now, we found a carcass of the monkey. We don't know if it was eaten." RIP, Last Monkey Standing.
Look at Charlie the macaque up there. Doesn't he look terrified? Confused? Distraught? He should be. That sweet-looking little girl, 8-year-old Tayce Nickel, has all but administered the lethal injection that will stop the rapid beating of his tiny, simian heart. In return, he probably gave her herpes.
Straight out of Japan, here's your WTF—and BAWWWWW ZOMG SO CUTE!—video of the day. Inside, watch a baby monkey get a literal piggyback ride on some sort of furry Sasquatch reindeer-like pig creature thingy. Yay, animal videos!
Here's something you don't see every day: amateur video, shot from the inside of a moving car, that shows a monkey just chillin' on the hood. But wait! Along comes another monkey—take a guess at what happens next.
Don't be lulled by the hypnotic cuteness of these photos of Anjana the chimpanzee and her baby white tiger friends Mitra and Shiva at The Institute of Greatly Endangered and Rare Species in South Carolina. When the chimps start raising tigers, we're only a few years away from total world domination by our simian cousins. More pics after the jump. So you can, you know, study these deadly enemies of mankind. (Images from Barcroft Media)
Hours before Sarah Palin showed up to get BOOED at the Flyers opener in Philadelphia, she hosted a rally in Johnstown, PA. And the citizen at left showed up with a stuffed monkey with an Obama sticker on its head. "This is little Hussein," he boasted smugly to cameras. Surely the other McCain/Palin supporters admonished him in the no uncertain terms, yes? No. They giggled and clapped. Watch after the jump.
The damned moneys. Despite the warnings, the hundreds and hundreds of warnings, everyone insists on treating these near-human masterminds of evil as being just like us! After all, they can handle firearms, but they are also breeding with our innocent pigs. Now that John McCain and scandal-bot Sarah Palin are wooing the family values crowd—while forcing that crowd to disown everything they every said—the monkeys have found a way into the heart of the Christian Right. The little wicked creatures are MARRYING!
It's absolutely killing us that we're stuck here working when we could be over on the sidewalk outside that West Hollywood location shoot and figuring out what they needed that "one monkey" for. Is banking with Capital One so easy that a monkey can do it? (If so, expect an announcement in Monday's trades about ABC's hasty greenlighting of the pilot Monkey Bank.) Does the monkey get so frustrated with bad customer service that he goes on a genital-chomping rampage through the branch until he's finally given proper attention? If you happened to stroll by the shoot, let us know. We're finding it hard to concentrate with so many unanswered questions about all the monkey-related fun we're missing out on.
- Apparently, what finally got Judith Regan canned was making anti-Semitic comments. When are people going to learn that you cannot fuck with the Jews? Also, if anyone out there knows what she said specifically, get in touch. We'll pay top dollar to either of you Jew lawyers who were on the other end of the phone. [NYT]
Perhaps some of our Brit-sensitive readers can make sense of this ad for Monkey "magazine" — apparently an online lad mag that pushes the basement of quality even for that genre. There is a monkey in the commercial, and apparently it's causing some distress by interrupting a feat of soccer prowess. But is it funny? Tragic? The sort of thing that makes you want to check out an online lad mag? Explain.