The Faithful Departed Morons

jack_ketch · 04/25/08 12:26PM

This noble task, the killing of the sinful, is not as easy as one may suspect. It is with a heavy heart that I ply the tools of my trade: the axe, the noose, the adorable little "kill kill kill" button that you all have next to your names. Trust that I do not take such responsibility lightly. For instance, I thought about executing everyone who doesn't like Tina Fey. Yet then I realized that tolerance—even of the incredibly stupid—is a virtue. But I am virtuous only to a point. Therefore, the really incredibly stupid lie headless after the jump.

Yankees Won't Suffer From Haunted Jersey, Will Still Suck

ian spiegelman · 04/13/08 01:42PM

The moron Red Sox fan/construction worker who buried his team's jersey in the concrete foundation of the new Yankees stadium has had his silly mischief undone. "A pair of hardhats working at the new Yankee Stadium dropped a dime on the location of a buried Red Sox jersey. Beantown-loving construction worker Gino Castignoli, who lives in The Bronx, confessed to The Post last week that he buried a Red Sox slugger David Ortiz jersey at the site last summer while working at the stadium. After reading about the traitorous act in The Post, the two workers approached a construction manager and said they remembered Castignoli, who only worked at the Stadium one day, and thought they knew where he must have placed the shirt. They led the manager to a service corridor near the site of the planned Legends Club restaurant, behind home plate and toward the third base side."

Glenn Beck Can't Stop Picturing Ted Kennedy Nude

Pareene · 01/30/08 04:09PM

In the attached clip, CNN shouting head Glenn Beck creeps out charming GOP strategist Amy Holmes (seriously, we love her!) while ostensibly discussing Ted Kennedy's endorsement of change-monger Barack Obama. His opening question: "You ever just pictured Ted Kennedy naked?" Sometimes, Beck explains, "that picture with him with his shirt off just kind of pops into your head." Sure, Glenn. Percocet withdrawal can be rough. [MediaMatters]