Last we checked with Herman Cain, pizza magnate Republican presidential candidate, his campaign was falling apart amidst internal accusations of "affairs, homosexuality and professional misconduct." But like a deep-dish phoenix rising from the ashes of a brick oven, Cain is back with a bold message: No mosques!
What say we check the headlines for a new installation of that old segment, Morons With Signs On Their Lawns, hmm? Let's see here... well look at that, it's a moron with a sign on his lawn! Michael Heick of Amherst, New York — the moron — lives next to a mosque, but can't stand their flashy lights. So the sign he's put on his lawn says, "BOMB MAKING NEXT DRIVEWAY." Take that, fuckers!
Bad news for Rep. Peter King's eternal fight against the second-largest religion on the planet! Turns out most Americans are actually dyed-in-the-wool radical Islamists: Sixty nine percent would be "okay" with having a mosque in their communities, and 46 percent have a favorable view of American Muslims, according to a CNN poll. As you might imagine, there is one last bastion of true American Muslin-hating—the rural south, where one half of people say they'd "disapprove" of a neighborhood mosque, unless it had a big confederate flag painted on it. [CNN; image via AP]