One of my coworkers who, to be honest, I find to be rather annoying, recently began growing what can only be referred to as a Hitler mustache. I am afraid he doesn't realize it as such, and that no one else at work will be willing to tell him. I don't know for sure how many friends he has outside of work.
For all of humanity's greatness—the pyramids, the Hoover Dam, our capacity to love—human beings have proven ourselves quite capable of doing truly disgusting things, also, including waging wars, acting upon greed, and wearing those godforsaken toe shoes. In an effort to build a more just, rational, and aesthetically pleasing future, here is a list of 22 things Gawker is banning in 2013. At the stroke of midnight on December 31, be sure to either immediately stop doing the actions listed here, or, if it's an object that's being banned, a toe shoe, perhaps, incinerate it in a trash can. The civilized world thanks you!
Former congressman Anthony Weiner resigned in disgrace earlier this year for sending pictures of his erect dong to various strangers on Twitter. Now, months later, attempting to rebuild his life with his pregnant wife, State Department aide Huma Abedin, he has settled on the exact worst strategy to look like a normal guy who would never even consider sending dick pics to women: growing a wispy moustache. (We understand that it's probably for "Movember," the prostate cancer-awareness event. Even so.) [images via Pacific Coast News]
The American Mustache Institute is calling for the Mustached American Tax Incentive to help defray the costs of mustache maintenance, since mustached Americans improve American good looks and stimulate the economy. Sounds about right, actually.