Newly declassified documents from Osama bin Laden’s Abbottabad retirement compound show that al Qaeda’s rigorous HR department wasn’t just trolling LinkedIn for resumes—the terror organization had a formal application process. “Who should we contact in case you became a martyr?”
This “Instruction to Applicants,” translated and today declassified by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, is a little bit Common App, a little bit Proust Questionnaire, and a little bit McDonald’s University, with a litany of questions to make sure you’re up to jihadi snuff.
Applicants were asked to provide some personal background (nicknames are welcome!) and core proficiencies. Language skills and extracurriculars are a big plus.
Highlights of the questionnaire include:
- Any hobbies or pastimes? __________________
- What is your favorite material: science or literature? ____________________
- Do you wish to execute a suicide operation? ___________________
- Do you have any chronic or hereditary disease(s)? ______________
And, like any good piece of paperwork, you’re asked to provide an emergency contact:
You can read the application in full below, and if you’re thinking of applying, please keep these guidelines in mind: