“Jiminy Cricket!” began Ted Cruz, preparing to give a diatribe on his nostalgia for the easygoing availability of contraceptives at his alma mater, Princeton.
During a speech at a town hall in Iowa during which he meant, ostensibly, to debunk the “war on women,” the Texas senator and Republican presidential candidate took some time instead to connect the issue to the availability of condoms.
“When the war on women came up, Republicans would curl up in a ball, they’d say ‘don’t hurt me!’ Jiminy Cricket! This is a made up, nonsense example. Last I checked, we don’t have a rubber shortage in America. When I was in college we had a machine in the bathroom, you put 50 cents in— and voilà!”
The riveting tidbit from Cruz’s days as a freewheeling undergrad was quickly uploaded to Twitter:
Ted Cruz reminisces about the condom machine at Princeton pic.twitter.com/vXoE7CeNaL— Will Rahn (@willrahn) November 30, 2015
On the contrary—Cruz even suggested that he too enjoys the benefits of condoms, himself.
“As I noted, Heidi and I, we have two little girls. I’m very glad we don’t have 17.”
Those of us who weren’t present can only imagine the collective shudder that was heard immediately after.