The U.S. State Department Warns Americans That No One Could Possibly Find You Attractive

Earlier today, the official twitter account for the State Department’s Bureau of Consular Affairs offered a bit of advice to ugly Americans looking for sex overseas: There’s a reason all the locals keep buying you drinks—and it’s not because they find you attractive. (You’re not.)
Apparently, the now deleted tweet was all part of a (poorly conceived) “#springbreakingbadly” campaign.

The Bureau, whose “highest priority is to protect the lives and interests of [ugly] U.S. citizens overseas,” didn’t seem to see a problem with reminding all of its 500,000 repulsive followers that there’s no way in hell anyone would actually want to sleep with them.

On a related note, the State Department would also like all you less-than-appealing ladies out there to know that you’re probably being catfished.

And that when you do inevitably get scammed after briefly letting yourself buy into the (absurd) fantasy that some other human in this world might finally want to connect with you, the State Department will still be there for you.
If you become a victim of crime overseas, contact the nearest US embassy or consulate for help. #springbreaktip #springbreakingbadly
— Travel - State Dept (@TravelGov) March 28, 2016
Because god knows no one else will.
Update 6:30 p.m.
The State Department would like to apologize for the fact that you can’t handle the truth.
Some have been offended by our earlier tweet and we apologize that it came off negatively (1/2)
— Travel - State Dept (@TravelGov) March 30, 2016
Although it quickly deleted the second part of its apology.

That’s the last time John Kerry gets the Twitter password.