The angst-ridden "fixie" messengers of the "millennial" generation are now the most important consumer demographic out there. So what's their financial plan? Oh, millennials will tell you their financial plan, dad.

My financial plan is called fuck you!!!!!!! That's the phrase that many a professional financial adviser may be hearing from prospective clients of the millennial generation, who tell pollsters that they don't need your help, dad!!!!! Bloomberg reports that the latest polls of the fancy-free professional mixologist/ DJ class find that only 29% of millennials "sought advice from a professional" to get their finances in order. Which is not to say that they're pessimistic—"More than 70 percent feel secure or very secure that they'll meet their financial goals."

So here we have a large demographic of young working Americans who are opposed to professional financial advisers, but also confident in their own abilities to thrive financially. What are we to make of this?


Basic personal finance matters are simple enough to be figured out even by millennials, and much of the professional investment advice industry is a scam, so not paying for professional financial could theoretically turn out to be a decent choice.


In reality, millennials don't know what the fuck they're doing, and even if they did, they'll never make enough money to retire anyhow.

Do you know what is really "keeping it real" and "ill?" Working until the day you die :)

[Photo of your future accountant: Flickr]