Imagine the predicament of the Harley-Davidson Corporation: every paunchy middle-aged biker dude already owns your product. Where to find sales growth? Ladies? Hello?

No big mystery to the business marketing sales achievement dynamics here, folks. Harley has completely saturated the “Actual Biker Gang Members” market, along with the “Retired Dentist” market. If this company wants to grow it needs to find some buyers who are young, and it needs to find some buyers who are of the female gender but who are not being paid to splay across a Harley in a skimpy bikini for a calendar shoot. That’s Economics 101, right there.

Now, I’m not motorcycle marketing expert, but it seems that today’s Wall Street Journal article on Harley’s attempts to broaden their appeal may hold some clues about why they can’t get those young female buyers in the doors.

The Doobie Brothers, a band whose heyday was in the 1970s, performed at the grand opening of a giant dealership in Scottsdale, Ariz., in November. Prime floor space often goes to big and loud chrome bikes rather than sleek and modern models. At periodic “bikini bike washes,” Harley dealers hire women in skimpy swimwear to sponge down motorcycles.

That sounds like something “for old dirty pervs,” said [Kawasaki Ninja owner Nicole] Villagran.

Hmmm. Not sure this chick is settling comfortably into the brand halo. Perhaps the dealers out there in the field have more creative solutions?

Some dealers don’t see a burning need for change. Bob Parsons, the 65-year-old founder of and owner of the Scottsdale Harley dealership, said: “Everybody likes to look a little bit badass, and nothing says that better than a Harley shirt with a skull on it.”

Maybe make some of them ads but the hot chicks are wearing cutoff Harley shirts? I dunno. Women are weird.

[Photo: Flickr]